So right here, in this very blog, you are going to experience something that you may never see again in your whole bittersweet life: You are about to witness a real life professor issuing a real life apology. And I don’t mean the kind of “apology” that the ancients issued (like “An Apology for Christianity”), by which they didn’t mean “I’m sorry” but rather “you’re wrong and I’m right and I’m going to tell you why.” I’ve already done my bit for King and Country along the second line, and (as I hope you observe by the title of my website) plan to do much, much more of the “apologetics” kind of apologizing.
But here, right now, I’m going to issue what the modern world means by apology. That is, I’m going to say I’m sorry for something. Namely: I’m sorry I have not been replying to your excellent comments in a timely fashion over the past 8 weeks. Sometimes I have commented very late and very quickly; other times I have failed to comment at all. While my failure to comment no doubt improves the overall quality of my comments (because – let’s be honest – no comment from me is often better than my typical rambling), nonetheless it is not good for promoting honest dialogue.
So I make the following pledge to you as an unreliable professor who cannot be trusted: I will almost certainly continue to respond slowly for the next few weeks and my behavior is unlikely to change. There, I can’t say fairer than that, can I?
Seriously, though, I have been reading your comments and heartily appreciate them. I agreed that hope can be a double-edged sword, I enjoyed the clever political allusions to the strategy of hope, and I’m looking into posting the stuff from my Cru talk. I’m sorry I’ve been slow to say or do anything about these and other comments. I think I’m having a serious case of the post-sabbatical blues, but this term has kinda swamped me under like a gator in Okefenokee. (Wait – is that a swamp? And wouldn’t a gator actually like it, if it was a swamp? Oh, bother. Hope the analogy police is off duty today). My real day job has taken up so much of my time that something had to give, and it was either commenting on the blog or my family. I love my blog readers…I hope ya’ll know that, but…well, I don’t love you that much.
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Anyway, hopefully I’m back on the horse a bit, and I do hope to be able to comment a little more regularly the rest of the term. I’ve actually been saving what I imagine will be a very controversial and unpopular blog – on Why Materialism is Not Skeptical – until a time when I thought I would have more space to dialogue about it. Hopefully I will; but no promises. I’m going to post it early next week and see what happens.
In the meantime, please do not take my lack of commenting as indicative of apathy or disapproval. I do read and enjoy all your comments; my sporadic commenting behavior recently is due to a lack of time and nothing more.
[The Apologetic Professor Editorial Staff has pointed out to the senior writer that no one cares whether he comments…people dislike his comments, actually…and thus this blog post is like apologizing to your neighbor for failing to spread cow manure all over her lawn. Please forgive me for failing to spread cow crap is not a common phrase you’ll hear – even on this ridiculous blog. The Editorial Staff also tried to convince the senior writer that, in the time he spent apologizing for his lack of commenting, he could have actually written several comments. The irony seems lost on this guy. We apologize for his inability to comprehend basic temporal math!]
If it makes your blogging life any easier, I’ll just assume from now on that my comments have left you speechless. In the meantime, I’ll look forward to your controversial and unpopular post on materialism. (By the way, the math “security questions” are beginning to get much too hard for me. Why not use more philosophical or theological questions, like “What is substitutionary atonement?” or “Define the Anthropic Principle”? Those would be fun!)
[Awestruck speechlessness].
Jack,
Seriously, that was about the funniest thing I’ve read in months — I am STILL laughing about it. Thanks for getting my morning off to such a great start. I think that was almost as funny as your idea that, if I ever renounced Christianity, I could re-name my cite “The Disillusioned and Somewhat Crestfallen Professor.” I am going to find a way to use that someday (tho hopefully not in the “I’ve renounced Christianity” way!) I trust that you will keep up your typical humor, cleverness, and insightful political commentary (insightful political commentary being the increasingly rare species that it is) on your newly named “The Little Reg Blog” blog?
How about adding “what is the solution to the predestination/free will debate?” or “in Christian theology, is the second Person of the Trinity co-substantial with the first? Think quick!” Then, no matter what answer the person gives, for amusement value the screen can go blank for 10 seconds and then flash a giant red “PAGAN HERETIC” on screen. It has endless possibilities for amusement. : )
Look forward to your thoughts on my unpopular post next week…I’m counting on ya’ll to keep me in line! This upcoming post is more-than-usually full of my typical irritating hyperbole.
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