An Article to Irritate Democrats

One of my character flaws is that I seem to enjoy annoying people.  I sometimes dance around the house, even though I don’t actually like dancing. Why would I do that, you ask?  Simple: It really gets on my daughter’s nerves.  [Editor’s note: His daughter is being reasonable. The editorial staff at the Apologetic Professor recently unearthed a VHS tape with definitive proof of the alarming fact that Luke was once in a dancing and singing show choir.  We kid you not – this guy danced and sang on video camera!  It was horrible.  It was like watching Angela Lansbury try to imitate a squid.  It actually gave us nightmares.]  Anywho, the best thing you can say about that trait is that I am an “equal opportunity” irritator – I seem to like irritating pretty much everyone.  Kind of like the writers on SNL, but without the wit and unnecessary lewdness.

Last week I intentionally irritated Republicans.  Next up on blog-destroying Irritation Month Programming is an attack on Democratic politics.  In particular, I think my Democrat friends might be interested to learn that:

(1)  The Bible clearly states, and more generally implies, that you should not get to eat if you do not work.  In other words, the rules designed to help poor people are explicitly opposed to helping them if they are not willing to do their part (2 Thessalonians 3:10-14).  To put a fine point on it, the Bible implies that it would be better for people to be rejected and learn a moral lesson than it would be for them to be given food as an entitlement.

(2)  Indeed, the Bible would oppose anything like an “entitlement.”  Really, far from trying to stir up dissent in the fine union-esque manner, the Bible instead encourages people to be content with what they have (Hebrew 13:5), and to submit to their fate even in shockingly bad circumstances (e.g., 1 Peter 2:18).  It consistently encourages a spirit of gratitude on just about every page (e.g., 1 Thessalonians 5:18).  Gratitude makes people happy; feeling entitled makes people unhappy.  The sense of collective action that is so important to liberals historically finds very little to support it in the Bible, and much to oppose it.

(3)  The Bible is pretty radically opposed to anything that smacks of self-indulgent laziness, lust, and the like (Matthew 5:27-30).  The Bible talks a lot about holiness and takes adultery and marriage shockingly seriously – like death (e.g., Matthew 5:27-32). Things like pornography, lewdness, and loose attitudes towards monogamy and sexual relations – things that that Democrats are more prone to support – will find essentially no quarter given to them in the Bible.

(4)  When democrats speak of “human rights,” the Bible has little to say to them.  For example, there is leftist talk of some kind of “right to a good job.”  What?  Christianity simply laughs at this.  The…right…to a good job?  Even if you don’t work for it?  Even if you sit and home and play video games?  Really.  (See 2 Thessalonians 3:10-14 and about half of the book of Proverbs, e.g., 21:25). But more broadly, Christianity teaches throughout that we really have no rights.  There is a sense in which everything good is a gift…yes.  One of our gifts is freedom.  But there is literally nothing we are owed (for a representative sample, see my least favorite chapter in the Bible – Romans chapter 9).

I could go on – I could literally do this all day, annoying both sides with my annoying banter that so deeply annoys.  But rather, I think I’ll finish by pointing out that the main problem with both sides is that they think they are totally right.  And next week, I’m going to add one additional post to ensure that exactly everyone is completely annoyed with me.

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